And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
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turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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