Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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