Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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