Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
