I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
