this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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