five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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