so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize