There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We talked him into tasing himself.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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