Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
