worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
