i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
