someone owes me an orgasm
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
