I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
