We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize