Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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