Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
