Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
