You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
