I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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