i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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