Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
there is puke in my bra ... again
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