the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
