Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
