I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
