According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
