I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
sex in a hospital.. check
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
