Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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