You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
