So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
