I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
