Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
