he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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