Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i need some magic done to my vagina
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
