No, drunk sperm still make babies.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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