Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
