So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
