I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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