There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
