Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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