My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize