did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Someone came in the potted fern
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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