Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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