You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
