sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
