Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
