Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize