it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
