Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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