I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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