Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
