his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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