worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
