Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
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Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
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Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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