that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
