I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
