my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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