How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
