Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
