An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
