How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
